It would be easier to just die

[wildfire0271]

I dont know what is worse, living life as am emotional punching bag and not feeling so dead and empty inside, or being apart and still feeling the after effects of my days as that emotional punching bag and on top of that hurting so bad that i cant function and not being able to make it much longer hurting like this while he is living his happily ever after, and i just want to find the poisoned apple and be done with it.

[Foundthebestman]

Neither one is an option. The pain goes away in time. You can't beat yourself up over it, there are some bad people out there, that's not your fault. How long have you been feeling like this? You have many options, many things that can help you through the worst times. Everyone heals differently, what works for me may not work for another. You can take control of this situation and the best part is you don't have to do it alone. Have you talked to anyone? The pain goes away, it really does. God doesn't put any more on you than you can handle in one day.

[cautiousandwise]

Awww hunnie. That is so sad. I am sorry that you are feeling THAT low. Remember one thing...Your problems are temporary, and life lasts a lot longer than any problem you may have. As Found said, God will not give you anything more to handle than you can take. Loneliness I can understand, and after being in a toxic relationship like that, I can understand the co-dependent need for him. You have to give it time...It will get better... I will pray for you.

[deadman2005]

aww i feel for you... i really do guys are just so full of themselves... you really need to talk to someone someone you can trust so they can be there for you..... you need someone to talk to let all this bottled up anguish out

[dlmn63]

I know it's hard to believe that this pain and emptiness, that your feeling, will subside. I've been where you are and I promise it will. It's a tough road to travel but you can do it. Reach out to people around you, and to the women and men on this board. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're worth it. Start the healing process by giving yourself a break and believing in yourself again. If you need someone to listen, I'm here. All you have to do is reach out.

[georgiadog]

awww. you only THINK he's living happily ever after. sooner or later, (probably sooner) his true character is going to come out. people don't change, what makes you think he has?

[Chalene]

I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I know what it's like because I've been there too. It does get better if you take one day at a time and find new ways to use your time, energy and talents. You will be a stronger person having gone through this. Some people suggest therapy, but the thing that helped me was a comment made at the profile. She said,

[cherylcelinaw]

I know you are in pain but you need to still hang your head high, get counseling and try to move on with your life. He is not worth it and your worth more than being abused. Its not your fault it is his and remember that.

[heartbreaker77]

Those are pretty powerful statements. I speak from personal experience, as I was in an abusive relationship. Not just emotionally but physically too. He almost KILLED ME, twice! When I was in it, I thought of suicide often, thinking there was no way ou and it would be easier to die. When it ended, I wanted to die because despite all the BS he put me through, we were together for nearly a decade. I loved him still. But guess what? It's taken me forever to move past it, and even some of the wounds have not yet become scars. That was years ago we broke up. But now I am with a wonderful man. We have our ups and downs but he is good to me. And it's not just about being w/ a guy. It's that NO GUY is worth dying over. He's just a sick fuck...it's him, not you. And like someone else said, it's a matter of time before he repeats his behavior. And most women won't tolerate that shit. What goes around ALWAYS comes around in the end.

[hey911]

no what u have to do is walk away and its gonna be hard but a man who hits you does not love you !!! i mean what is there to miss when u leave the yelling?the hitting? its not worth it life is what u make it and make the right choice

[pearl729]

I've been throught the same thing - when I was in the abusive relationship, I thought that there was no way out. I'd been isolated from friend and family, and was threatened that if I got him in trouble w/ the law, he would hunt me down and kill me. So I kept quiet and put on a brave face for as long as I could. But inside I was breaking apart. I was depressed and often thought of suicide. I eventually did it, and fortunately the attempt failed. He beat me even more when I blacked out and when I came about, one side of my face was severely swollen.

[seethalerk]

Please get some counseling as soon as possible. I was married to an abusive man for 26 years and had reached the point where you are at . . . I just wanted to die and thought there were no alternatives left to me (he made me feel so worthless that after one of his tirades at me I put a pistol in my mouth thinking I would get a reaction out of him). I realized then that I needed professional help and it was the best decision I ever made. With professional counseling I developed the courage to face him (which was not easy at times but necessary) and eventually I divorced him after a year of therapy. It was a very difficult road to travel before it was finalized though . . . he too threatened to