my marriage ended because I got bipolar

[Dawn Bell]

My name is Dawn Sakura Bell (I am half Japanesse), previously was Dawn Flory, I work in Alaska Children Services here in anchorage, Alaska. Yes I was married to steve before, we got divorce June 3rd 2008. I can’t help it that he move on and I don’t. He got married again, and I can’t receive that reality. I work and take some classes in college, but I already moved out from his house years ago. I got bipolar problem, so I can’t control myself, I rammed into his truck and hit him 3 times with my car, so I got stopped by the police, luckily they didn’t arrest me. Then I come to his house lotsa times, I steal some items too and I also pour out some gasoline, transmission oil in his drive way, etc. One day I moved Steve’s banking address to my address to piss him off, it work though. I kept following Steve and his wife here and there and emailing them that I had sex with steve, I know I sounds cheap, but I can’t help it… I should get on my medication but I don’t want to. I actually get the control of his email “bull_moose79@yahoo.com”,I don’t know why, but I feel like it “satisfy” my ego. I kept sending them email from this one, even until now, I sent text message to his and his wife’s cellphones periodically, sometimes 20 times a day, I’m hoping that they will break up so I won’t be alone being single. Again, I can’t CONTROL myself because of this bipolar problem I had… I work with Children but I don’t even had my own 3 Children… I blamed Steve for loosing my children, but actually that I don’t even take care of my own children, I lost all of them. I don’t even know why I work around Children now, ironic isn’t it? I think I went to a “Deep End”, not only with my Children….long time ago I even made my family deported from here, my fault I guess, no wonder my folks don’t want to talk to me at all. I really need help here… anyone have any suggestion for me? Or is there new medication to control myself from this bipolar thingy?

[cali4ange]

1: take your medication, then you can control yourself
2: go to counseling to help you move on, by doing all these crazy stunts, it only shows you as crazy, as well as why you don't have your kids
3: go to counseling to help yourself to know why you need medication.
4: yes you should look for another job, because if you're not sane to keep control then you shouldn't be around kids.