Why He Acts the Way he does..

[Jess8816]

I've been seeing a guy for about a year. He has two kids and I have two. We both agreed that if we were to ever get married, we wouldn't want any more children. We broke up in September and 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. We were broke up and I decided I was going to keep the baby. He started coming around, begging me that he did love me and would want to be with me and my kids but another baby would be too much. He even promised to marry me and we would all move in. We had an abortion last Friday and now we are off again. He didn't understand that going thru an abortion can be a tramatic thing to some women. He then told me that he said what he had to to make me have the abortion. I feel SO dumb and betrayed.. I have two kids which are enough for me but to kill a baby for lies he promised has left me even more broken and alot of questions unanswered.. please help..I love this man SOOO much but everyone keeps telling me to stay away from him. Why do women chase losers..

[Guitarista]

Jess,

You're not dumb.

You are simply someone who hoped that the man she cared for could find joy, along with her, in her unexpected pregnancy.

But he could not.

Perhaps now you feel that you had the abortion for him, and maybe that was the case....but you said "We" had the abortion, so obviously he supported you in that...but it was not just support, it was manipulation since he stated he said what he did to get you to do it.

Manipulating someone like that is just plain wrong. He did not elect to have an intelligent discussion with you about it nor did he consider the fact that it was your body, nor did he consider your feelings. He just said something to you, to cause you to act....to play on your feelings for him. AND THAT IS THE WORST KIND OF MANIPULATION.

For these reasons, I feel that this man has some severe problems with the way he looks at things. You do not want to go through life being manipulated and controlled by someone who operates as dishonestly and backhandedly as he does.

So, the best way to look at it is this: This whole set of circumstances caused this man to show you his true colors.

So now you know, and you must do your grieving, and move on.

You and your children deserve a man far better than this...and to be honest, it would be better to raise them by yourself than with someone as dysfunctional and unaware as he is.

You can do better than this, and you will.

Take good care of yourself and feel better. I wish you the best.