Women of CR & IC, IA; DO NOT DATE CHRIS LAMB

[becki1223]

So before I start, I just want to say that everything that I am about to write is completely and utterly true. I am not here to bash my ex; I simply want to inform people and maybe vent a little bit. I can tell you that you may not believe my story after reading it, because honestly, why would someone stay after everything that I went through, but I will explain it all at the end. Either way, be prepared to be reading for awhile, because it's a long story.

I met Chris Lamb when I was in high school. I was in a bad relationship with a guy named Scott who hit me and after one of our fights a friend and I went to the party where I met Chris. He was good looking and seemed pretty sweet, and was willing to listen to my story. Since I was young and dumb, I thought the best way to get back at Scott was to cheat on him, as opposed to leaving him. I know, it's dumb. Anyways, so I slept with Chris. He will tell everyone now that I cheated on my boyfriend in high school and that proves that I'm always going to be a cheater, but he will deny that he was the one that I cheated with. Anyways, Chris and I had a friends-with-benefits relationship, and at one point I wanted to break up with my boyfriend, but Chris told me that he “didn't want to be a home wrecker” and he “wasn't ready for a relationship”, so I stayed with the boyfriend. It didn't last long, and when it ended Chris and I would run into each other from time to time. Then in June of 2004, one of my good friends was getting married and I needed a date. I asked Chris to go as a friend. He said that he couldn't, but he set me up with a friend of his for a blind date. I later found out that Chris really didn't want to go because he thought he wouldn't get laid from me and he might stand a better chance with his ex girlfriend/baby's mom. Well the guy and I dated for awhile, and when I found out he was cheating on me, Chris was really there for me. Chris can be a great friend, but sucks at relationships.

A few months later, I was seeing someone and found out I was pregnant with my first son. Chris' girlfriend, Tara, didn't like him talking to me and my boyfriend, Rick, didn't like me talking to him, even though neither of them knew about our past as “friends”. So I lost touch with him for a little while. Then one day he found me on MySpace. He had just gotten back from Iraq, where he was deployed for the Marines. One night after I had just moved into my new apartment, I was bored and lonely and decided to call him. We were talking about our kids, because him and Tara have a son named Johnathan. We found out that we only lived about 10 blocks apart and since my son was in bed, I thought there was no harm in him coming over to hang out. (I don't really like to have my son around a lot of different people, because I don't want to confuse him.) Chris came over and we were talking, and then he tried to get me to sleep with him, and...I did. Now before you all start thinking I'm a whore, remember that I had known this guy for five years and I hadn't had sex with anyone but my son's father in over two years. I trusted him, and when we were done he respected my wishes to leave so my son didn't wake up and find him in my bed. So we started seeing each other but he wouldn't “officially” commit. Should have been a clue. On my son's second birthday, Chris' apartment got broken into, so we decided for him to move in, but I wasn't so sure. I guess it just happened so fast. We did have one conversation that almost ended it before he moved in when I found messages on his Facebook that he had sent to other women trying to get with them while he was with me. I brought it up and he freaked out and came and got his stuff. By the end of the day he was back and moving in.

The next fight was when I looked at his criminal record, because I figured that since he was living with me and my son, I deserved to know what he had done. I found so much, but had no clue what to look for or what it meant when I found it. When I told him about looking at his record, he got angry and tried to tell me that it was personal, private information. I told him that it was public record and I wanted to make sure that he wasn't a child molester or something. He was still mad, and to this day he hasn't gotten over it.

In June, his son's mom was depressed and tried to commit suicide. Since he had driven her family away (and I didn't know it) Chris was her emergency contact. That night he was going to go to dinner with his mom and had told me that he was doing so. When his mom showed up at work they were talking while he was closing up and he got a phone call saying that his son hadn't been picked up from daycare. So his mom and him went and picked up John and took him to get McDonald's. When they got to Tara's trailer, Chris had a feeling that she had had a seizure, because she was epileptic. When he first went in he found her lying on the floor totally unresponsive and assumed that she had had a seizure. When the paramedics got there, they found that she had taken around 160 of her epilepsy pills and downed it with a bottle of vodka. Great combination considering your not supposed to drink while taking epilepsy medicine. That night after he came home, he was called back to the hospital to give more information on her since she was still unconscious. He told me that they were going to let him spend the night, and I wasn't happy about it, but I figured that if I were in that situation, I would want someone like him around too, since he was so great. It was his son's mother and he didn't want her to die. That didn't mean anything, did it? Anyways, Tara was admitted to our local crazy ward in our hospital where they did a psych evaluation and made her start seeing a therapist. He assured me that he didn't want to be with her and we went about our merry little way.

Then in July, his parents who had been taking care of his son, called to ask if we could watch John since they had some event. Chris said yes to babysitting his own child, and I went to do laundry while he watched his and my son. When I got back he kept receiving messages from his son's mom, and said that they had been fighting all night. Later that night when he was sleeping, I got woken up by his phone going off. I knew that Tara had sent him another message, because he had a song that he used only for her, and it was playing that song. I went out to clear it, and found the messages from earlier. The things that this woman said to him certainly did not sound like something an ex would say. And you knew with the way she was saying things, he was responding back to her. You couldn't see his sent messages, because he sent them from the carriers website, but you could tell that some of them were responses to what he had said to her in a previous message. I would go into details but it's quite vulgar, almost pornographic. I was pissed and he knew that I was mad about something the next morning, but I didn't tell him. Later that day, he was meeting with Tara to discuss their son, which after reading the texts, I was pretty sure wasn't happening. They were meeting up at her trailer and the night before she sent him messages telling him she'd rip his clothes off and give him a bj. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. Well, since I knew where she lived, I drove over there to make sure he wasn't lying to me about being there, and he wasn't. Then on July 5th, him and I got into it about my son's eating habits. He decided to leave, and about five minutes after he drove away I got in my car to see where he was at. At this point I was in full paranoia mode. I had a feeling he was cheating but when it was just me and him he seemed so great. So I drove to his friend Corey's house, he wasn't there. I then decided to drive out to her house, and there was his car outside of her trailer. I sent him a text message that said “How about you just stay at Tara's. Your stuff will be in the storage garage” and I left. I got a call from him yelling at ME like three hours later. I was in the middle of packing his shit, and I was on the phone with my best friend and when he got here she told me that the way he was yelling at me I should just call the cops. I got off the phone with him and got ready to call the cops when he slapped the phone out of my hand, took it and when I tried to get it back he pushed me to the ground. He took off with some of his stuff and my phone. So I called the cops with the neighbors phone. Shortly after I called the cops, my friend showed up because she was worried about me. After a few minutes, she realized that she had forgotten her purse in her car. As we were walking out to her car, I saw him sitting there in the dark with the car off and I mentioned it to Monica, she thought I was talking about her car. Then she saw him, and we saw the cop car in the front of the apartment building. We ran to get the cop, who had already gone inside the building. As soon as we started running towards the cop car, he started his car and drove away. That night I made a statement and went to stay at Monica's house where he continued to harass us all night and drive up and down the street. The next day, I got my old phone hooked back up so that he couldn't use my phone any more to harass my friends. He soon figured it out and started calling me, which I tried to ignore, but at some point he called to say he needed me to find his wallet and bring it to him at work since he had no gas. I took it to him and he was pissed that I brought my friend with me. When I left him sitting there he was pissed so he followed me to Monica's and her husband and his friend got involved. Then I got in between and told him to leave. He left and went back to MY apartment and continued to harass me all night. Finally after talking to Monica for awhile, she told me that I could either stay there or go home and talk to him, but that he really wanted to talk. So I finally went home and we didn't talk, because we were both so tired from being up all night we just went to bed. It pretty much got swept under the rug.

Things got better for awhile, then his son moved in. Once that happened he was always accusing me of favoring my son, and treating him and his son like shit, but he wouldn't leave, except to go to the casino, then he would come back to terrorize me. We continued to fight like cats and dogs, and then make up without actually talking out our problems.

Then in the beginning of November 2007, we found out that I was pregnant. I was terrified. What happened over the next nine months was probably my fault because I told him that I would not raise another child alone and if he left me before 12 weeks I would abort. Well, three days after I found out I was pregnant, we got into a fight over a GROCERY CART (I'm not kidding) and when we got home from the store, the fight continued and he pushed me into a wall. I thought he chipped my tooth because I had white powder in my mouth along with blood, but it was because my teeth scrapped the drywall. The next day I went to work and was a mess. My friend had convinced me to have an abortion, because it wasn't right that I bring a baby into this situation, so after work I went to our local abortion clinic, and as I was opening the door, he called. I closed the door and walked to the car and never went back. I couldn't do it.

We continued to fight, and I literally felt like I was living in a war zone. He left me at 13 ½ weeks pregnant, but says that he wasn't keeping track of when I passed 12 weeks. It was written on the freaking calendar, but whatever. We continued to see each other for awhile, “trying to work it out”, while he was still sleeping with his ex, even though I didn't know it. In February, we found out that I was having a boy and the next day I had the name picked out already. Ironically, I picked the name from our list of names that he and I agreed on in the beginning, but now he didn't like any of those names. I also decided that since my first son and I had the same last name, and Chris had moved out, I would be giving the new baby my last name as well. He thought this was the biggest tragedy to happen to him. How dare I name the baby after my family.

When I was 28 weeks pregnant, he came over to talk and we were talking about a conversation I had on MySpace with some guy regarding a video that he sent me, and he started snooping through the rest of my MySpace. My number one friend, was a girl who had told both of us that she couldn't talk to us anymore because it was affecting her marriage, because her husband found out that Chris hit on her one night. Well, she and her husband had decided that it was still okay to talk to me because I wasn't the one who hit on her. When Chris found out that she and I were still talking, he was like a high school girl who felt back stabbed. She called to talk to me about baby clothes and he threw a fit. I told him that if he was going to act like that he could just leave, and he agreed for once in his life, but then decided that he needed to wake my sick son from his nap by yelling goodbye to him. I told him that he didn't need to wake up Hunter (my son) and tried to escort him out the door, when he pushed me back into a wall and then ran out the door, because he knew I'd call the cops. Which I did, but I stupidly didn't file charges, because I still loved him. After he left, he called and yelled at my friend about being my friend. How childish is that?!?

At the end of April, actually on my son's 3rd birthday, I decided it was time to file a petition for relief from domestic assault. He had begun harassing me and my family about a $40 gift card that my brother had gotten my son for Christmas that he thought was also supposed to be for his son. It's sad that it took him harassing my family for me to decide enough is enough, but I suppose that I valued their life more than my own. When it was just me, I thought I could handle him, but he was telling my dad that it was too bad my dad's heart attack didn't kill him and all kinds of other crazy things.

Now I finally have a permanent no contact, which up until last week he was still breaking on a regular basis. He would call from a private number and the cops said that I couldn't do anything about it, since it was private and he wasn't leaving a message. The reason he finally stopped last week was because I changed both my cell phone and home phone number.

He has told me who I should and shouldn't talk to. Where I should go and shouldn't. How I should or should not raise MY son. He has pushed me, and spanked my son so hard that he gave him bruises. He has told me that he shouldn't have to pay child support for our son because he doesn't have his last name. He has sent my guy friends text messages from me stating that I didn't want to talk to them anymore. He has cheated on me with his son's mom while I was left to babysit their son for them, because he lied and said he was going to the casino. He has contacted my friends on MySpace and made up stories to them. He has filed lawsuits against me as payback for the baby's name. After the baby was born, he got mad at me because I decided to get an IUD put in to prevent any more pregnancies, because he still wanted more children with me, even though I'm a bitch and a liar. He's telling other women that I do not let him see the baby, even though he was the one who told me that he would not be here if I gave the baby my last name. Since he has custody of his son, he is telling Tara that she cannot see her son without sleeping with him or doing his homework, even though she has a court order to have visitation every week. I told her to file a contempt with her attorney, but she won't. I guess she still has hopes of becoming a family again. Even though he pulled her hair one day and made her drop their son when he was a baby, and yet another time poured ketchup on her head for something she had done. He brags about that one.

The conclusion of this long note is women of Cedar Rapids, Marion, Hiawatha, and Iowa City (especially if you attend the University of Iowa, where he also attends) PLEASE BEWARE OF THIS MAN!!! He will play sweet games, but he is nothing but a sex-addicted abuser waiting for his next prey.