Would you forgive a guy who hit you only once in a three yea

courtneyiscool · Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 162

My girlfriend is going through a situation where her guy hit her yesterday during an argument. It was like a slap across the face. He's a great guy who's never, ever done this before. They been together for a long time. She wants to forgive him, but should she? She thinks it might be the start of domestic violence.

PinkRibbon98 · Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 0

no she needs to walk away, one time is one time too many. The he lays his hand on you that means respect is no longer in the relationship and you should flee.

miss_lynn · Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 0

I have to agree with PinkRobbin95

SpicyLatEna · Joined: 06 Feb 2006 Posts: 6

it's easy to say walk away but it's not easy to do...he's done this once in three years....i would be on the fence because he's opened up a new can of worms...he obviously has it in him to get physical so that's definitely a red flag..however if he was abusive he would've exhibited these signs long before so....i'm on the fence with this one but will say this..if she decides to stay.....she needs to have a heart to heart and let him know that this is a one time pass but if this happens again....that's the exit ticket....i would also go to counseling though.....he needs to understand why the hell he needed to get physical with her...

catscalw · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 126

Would you forgive a man who hit only once in three years?

No.

On principle.

It is unforgivable, and not a sign of passion or caring.

Now, do you stay in the relationship?

That depends upon weather or not you both are willing to do the work which will make it possible for the relationship to have trust again, and move forward. Spicy is right, counseling and support are needed for him to examine his inability to express himself and his frustrations without resorting to physical abuse. Counseling and support are needed for her to examine wheather she has self-esteem issues that keep her from believing she can say what is and is not acceptable for her.

sincereheart55 · Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 14

Now, here is a situation where he can learn from his mistakes, or resent it, hate himself, and never get by it.

If he did it, there is cause for concern it is a red flag. There is to much emotional stuff going on inside your relationship, or stress, and it is time to see someone really good.

I suggest you get counseling with someone good, I do not know what faith you practice if any, but I would be calling my preacher for a good referral, or my MD.

You can learn to forgive yes , but forget never, and this needs to be mended, as well as the source of this anger. He also needs to learn to channel it, or it will not stop here. It tends to spill over into work, socially, and at home.

I think if she loves her husband, then it is worth finding out what the source is, and getting the situation under control. Perhaps,he is dealing with something she knows nothing about, this warrents him getting help, so it will not affect his home life.

But one flag, and then another is time to step away.

Best to her, I hope she gets help, with him.

Star

keshiamoore99@ya · Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 3

as a female myself. i feel that a man or a boy don't have any damn right to put there hands on you.thats why there are so many jails. us woman get got damn sick of it and go and get dirty harry and ask no question.

Ridethespiral · Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1

You ladies are going about it all wrong.

I would tell him I forgave him, then the next time I was performing oral sex on him I would pretend to be a zombie viciously bite his penis off. Problem solved.

catscalw · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 126

Cheeps · Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1

rosebuttons · Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 145

Catscalw there is never a reason for abuse on either side. ignore the bad advice giving here not all women share the belief for revenge. Some women choose to be bitter. a better person would choose to walk away from abuse instead of lowing themselves by seeking revenge.

sincereheart55 · Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 14

Girls, I know, I know this one, he is the man I referred to in my posting in cheat. Same bio, lines and he is always out looking to pull you in. Something like, " you poor woman, let me help you, be abused a little more, but not at the beginning.
I was not condoning a man touching her, call 911 and nail him yes. But the writer stated she loved him, and no matter what other say, she is most likely going to enter into that situation again. So, getting help, is the best, next things. Myself, I would never go back, but that is me. I study criminal law, and they most likely will go back.

But watch out for men looking to help you out in this site. You are vunerable, hurt, and most come here to heal, and put and end to this guy , getting away with messing up others lives.

Sincereheart55

catscalw · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 126

square813 · Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 246

first of all cats is not looking on here to score. he himself has come here for help because he ws having problems in his marriage. to the bitter bitches shut up. if you want to dog a man out then do it to the one who made you this way. hes one of the good ones that is not going to trust women because of this bullshit. its a sad day when one woman can make us all look bad. thanks alot

rosebuttons · Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 145

AMEN square813- It's one thing to trash someone who has hurt you but to go after a man that is trying to help is just Ridicules. believe or not ladies there are good men out there and I'm glad there are men on here like cats- to prove that to us. This woman is just bitter. We have to stop blaming all men because of a loser that hurt us and start learning from the choices we make to make better ones next time. If you stay bitter and angry youre only going to attract the same type of men in your life.
Cats- dont let one bad apple spoil the bunch.

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